Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Third Commandment

Noah has a bit of a speech delay. At 2 years and some months, he still only has a vocabulary of about 5 words that we can understand. There are several more in the works but those still fall under the "if we only could break the code" category and so, until we do break the code, we're stuck with the same 5 words. Unfortunately the most commonly pronounced word is Mommy which he says ad nauseum. Our conversations often go like this:

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Yes Noah?

ahaheeea doo da?

Um, I don't know.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy?

Yes, Noah?

ahaheeeea doodoo da?

Golly, Noah. I just don't know.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Noah, go play.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

My name's not Mommy, it's Fred. I'm not answering to Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Noah, please go play unless you really have something to say to me...

Mommy? aheeedadoodoo da

I just don't know how to answer that. Please go play.

He goes and plays. ....for a full 45 seconds....

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Yes Noah?

eeadidida cup?

Cup? You want your cup?

No.

Yes please?

es peese.

Oh Good! Cup I can do. Here is the cup.

Thank you (yes, for some reason this is perfectly articulated)

Put it on the table when you're done.

He carries it into the living room and dumps it on the sofa.

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy.

Ah! Noah! What?!

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Noah, I'm Fred, remember? Now go play!

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

And so it continues for the remainder of the morning until I can feed him lunch, put him down for a nap and give my ears a break.

I now understand the reasoning behind the third commandment. I'm sure God puts up with this innumerable times in a day.

Oh my God!

Yes, did you call me?

Oh my God!

Yes? I'm right here. What can I do for you?

Oh my God!

Um, do you have something to say or shall I move on to the next person?

Oh God!

Ok, that's it. I'm now officially ignoring you.

Jesus Christ!

Um, this trick didn't work on my dad, it's probably not going to work on me either.

Jesus Christ!

Yes? I'm perfectly willing to wait around if you have something you need to discuss.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Ok, that's it buddy. Leave my mom out of this!

Oh my God!

Yes?

Oh my God!

Right here, how can I help you?

Oh my God!

and so it continues except He has many more charges doing this than I do and they don't all nap at the same time. I suppose when I consider my own circumstances it's a small cross to bear compared to how much God has to put up with this but I still feel justified in coming up with the same response after about 300 repetitions of this routine.

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.

Yes?

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.

Noah, stop taking my name in vain!

3 comments:

nanc said...

Hey Mair~
That was perfect! I love the analogy! One day you will miss the Mommy mommy mommy days ~ although it won't be anytime too soon. :}
Perhaps I could ask Dan to do that some days during school! Just to make me not feel like my boys are getting too old!!
Love ya!
nanc <><

LucisMomma said...

Dear Fred,
that is a great analogy, as nanc said. I love how you put things together.

susan

Jen said...

Ah Mary...
As usual, you nailed it!
I am going to post a link to yours on mine tonight!