Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Our Dirty Little Secret

I make my own vanilla extract.

There, it's out - our family's dirty little secret.

You see, in order to make my own vanilla extract, I have to buy vodka...which involves going into liquor stores. I have been seen, with anywhere from 1- 10 kids in tow, headed into liquor stores all over town. I buy the vodka (preferably imported), hit up ebay for quality vanilla beans then combine the two and allow to sit in my dark pantry for a couple of months.

For awhile my vanilla extract supply was dwindling at an alarming rate and I was beginning to think we had a budding alcoholic in the family until I was informed that the girls had been helping themselves to vanilla milk every morning. I'm not sure how much vodka-laced vanilla was going in that milk but it may explain their inability to articulate themselves clearly much before 10:30 in the morning (of course mental retardation could explain that as well...)

Last night Ben and I were out on some errands. We headed into a grocery store I don't usual frequent and found a convenient liquor store in close proximity so I gleefully dragged Ben into the store. Our conversation went something like this:

Oooh Ben! A liquor store! Let's go get some vodka!

Um, ok.

Oooh Ben! Look! They have Russian vodka! We haven't had Russian vodka in a while! Oh, wow, they have a much bigger selection of vodka than the other liquor stores.

Mom, you better not get that big bottle.

Yeah, we only need this smaller one.

Yeah, Betsy and Ruth might drink it all for breakfast.

We checked out and I now had a dinstinctly bottle-shaped brown paper bag. I shoved it into my purse as we non-chalantly re-entered the grocery store.


LucisMomma said...

ROFLOL!! Ruth and Betsy might drink it for breakfast...

stlouismb said...

More explicit recipe please? Sounds like I will be drinking vanilla milk on my cereal.

Mike Baldwin