Well, I've been an emotional mess as of late to the point of eliciting comments and serious counsel from both the kids' counselor and my own spiritual mentor. It seems as though life has suddenly gotten really hard and I can't keep a perspective on my emotions. I've been blaming it on my whack-o cycle which is going on about 40 or 50 days now. I've been feeling increasingly physically uncomfortable - bloated, a wee bit crampy but no onset of my cycle and so no release. I pulled out a pregnancy test just to see...Joel and I had been discussing the possibility in an off-hand way but we discuss that every time I get to this point in my crazy cycle plus I just did a test (very negative) about 3 or 4 days ago. So...I was just chatting with him while I took the test, put the test down, brushed my teeth, picked it up to see...a faintly developing pink line in the test area. I walked into the bedroom, casually continuing our conversation, and said, "So do you really think I'm pregnant?" To which he replied, "No, probably not." "Well, see for yourself" and I tossed the test across the bed to him. Honestly, at that point that little pink line was still just beginning to show up so I wasn't positive myself but he picked it up, looked at it, blinked a couple of times and said something to the effect of, "Hmmm...that looks like a yes."
We're thrilled...which is probably a surprise to many people and which is why we immediately vowed not to tell anyone until...I don't know....Thanksgiving. For one night it was our own delicious little secret. Of course, there are some people who *have* to be told for one reason or another. Adora was the first to know this morning. Since she'll be the one taking up my slack we thought it only fair that she be in on it - also since she is able to interpret our veiled comments to one another spoken above the level of the kids' understanding. Turns out, she's been having dreams of me being pregnant. She's sure it's a girl...
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