Sunday, October 07, 2007

Chronic Three-itis

David has it bad. I diagnosed him myself but I'm pretty sure it's the correct diagnosis.

The symptoms of three-itis are:

  • Loss of interest in obedience accompanied by irregular eye motions

  • elongation of all vowel sounds when speaking

  • evading eye contact, particularly when being addressed by parents

  • radical mood swings

  • inability to give consistent answers to questions (frequent changing of the mind)

The onset of symptoms usually happens on or around a child's third birthday.

Treatment includes time out, loss of priveleges and duct tape therapy although all treatement methods only have about a 30% success rate.

The prognosis is good, most symptoms clearing up within about a year of onset.

I think we'll throw David a party for his fourth birthday.....

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