Some days are just HARD...

We've had one of those weeks which is probably more like what people *expect* our life should be like considering everything on which we have to focus. Yesterday was my birthday and, I must say, probably the worst day I can remember in a very long time. One of our dear children has really been struggling through church for a couple of months now. It seems he can't get through without being physically restrained - interesting thing to have to do while dealing w/2 antsy toddlers, keeping the hems of the girls' dresses closer to their ankles than their necklines and making sure everyone else is at least acting like they are more interested in the service than the contents of their noses. I've been thinking after each Sunday, "I wonder when this is all going to break me" and I've been astonished at how long my patience and endurance have lasted.

Well, yesterday was the breaking point and I readily admit I dissolved into a weeping pile of exhaustion right there in the front row moments before the elevation of Our Precious Lord Jesus. I cried and I cried and I cried and asked God, "Where is your mercy for an 8 year old child?" He replied, "I wept at the tomb of Lazarus and I weep with you now. My victory is coming but first I will mourn and weep with you." And my Lord opened his bleeding heart and held me close to Him and wept with me for my son. He never fails to comfort but He also never fails to continue to prod us along this road called LIFE.

Soooo...on Wednesday this child has won himself a visit to the psychiatrist...Yep, the all-natural- do-it-with-diet-down-on-pharmaceuticals family is taking a trek down Mystery Drug Lane. We are consoling ourselves with the fact that we've done all we can do - short of shattering our family finances on uncovered (talkin' insurance here) natural alternatives such as osteopathy, homeopathy, etc. There isn't much comfort in the knowledge that the wrong diagnosis can lead to the wrong medication which could drive our son into suicide or a psychotic state. And so we will go and pray really hard and trust that God will continue to hold our little sparrow in the palm of His hand.

Yes, some days are hard but even in the hard there is the grace that flows around us. There are the prayers that go up from so many different directions. I shudder to think just how hard it really would be if the Body of Christ stopped praying. As Fr. Jeffrey likes to say, our needs are carried on the "stretchers of the prayers" of our dear intercessors to the throne of Grace. And so in this really hard time I publicly thank our intercessors. I thank Madeline and Mary M and Mary L. I am grateful for the Life in Jesus Community. God bless the rector's council, their wives and all those who surround us at Church of Reconcilation. Thank you to our mothers whose tireless prayers for their children are most precious to the heart of Jesus. And for all those who pray for us in the silence of your prayer closets...thank you. It is only by the grace of God and your prayers that these days aren't impossible, just hard....