Thursday, July 12, 2007

Just in case you're wondering...

...what I've been doing with my time lately I thought I'd share these little gems. Somehow I got myself committed to leading the middle school leadership team through some skits for VBS. After scouring the internet I realized there is very little material out there in the 3-5 minute range geared toward children and simple enough to be performed by children so I endeavored to write my own. The first couple of attempts were a bomb at meeting the criteria so I've put them here so maybe the world will get some use out of them (or just shake your heads and wonder why I've been entrusted with the care of impressionable young children).

Humble Pie

Customer: Good Morning, I'd like to buy some Humble Pie.
Cashier: Well, we have several varieties. Which do you think you'd like to try? This one has been spiced with cinnamon, allspice and a dollop of Embarrassing Myself.
Customer: Hmm, well that one looks good but doesn't sound very appetizing...
Cashier: Well, this one here has freshly whipped cream and Serving The Homeless sprinkles.
Customer: Yes, I see. Do you have any others?
Cashier: Oh, this is a popular choice – and my personal favorite. It's a make-it-yourself pie kit.
Customer: Now that sounds good. I bet I could really wow my dinner guests with that!
Cashier: Mm, no probably not, our pastry chef here gets all the credit for making it. Our customers are always telling him what a great job he's done with this one! No one seems to notice the person who actually bakes it. It's guaranteed to be delicious, though!
Customer: Thanks for the recommendation. I think I may as well get all three. Do you have change for a 50 dollar bill?
Cashier: Actually, sir. They'll cost you more than that. Humble Pie is an expensive delicacy. It costs a lot but it sure is worth it.
Customer: Oh, well I'd really like to buy all three Humble Pies. What will it will cost me?
Cashier: I'll take the shirt off your back and they're all yours!
Customer: Ok, I guess I can give you that if you say they are worth it. (takes off his shirt, hands it to the cashier. She gives him the pies.)
Cashier: Thank you sir! We'll be giving this shirt to someone who needs it.
Customer: Thank you for the pies.
Cashier: Sure thing. Come back tomorrow. We're having a special on Patience Pastries! They're worth the wait!
(Customer begins to leave with his pies)
Cashier: Sir, you forgot your wallet!

A Satisfying Story

Narrator 1: Having gone to the store to buy ice cream, Bill found himself without any money in his wallet. Thinking through his day, he realized that he had left his wallet out when he ate lunch at a restaurant and the money had most likely been stolen. Not easily angered, he returned the ice cream to the store freezer and walked calmly to his car, whistling a happy tune.
Narrator 2: On his way to his car he considered who may have stolen his money. He hoped that it had been someone with more need of it than he. In fact, he sincerely prayed that the person who stole his money would be blessed.
Narrator 3: He soon forgot about the stolen money and began to consider how he could get the ice cream for which he gone to the store in the first place. He considered trying to trade ice cream for one of his own possessions but the only thing he could think of was his hermit crab. He wasn't sure the store owner would be willing to trade him some Chocolate Cyclone Whippee for Hermie the Wonder Crab but he was willing to try.
Narrator 3: He was eager to buy the ice cream because he had promised it to the neighbor boy who loved Chocolate Cyclone Whippee Ice Cream more than anything else in the world and he, Bill, loved to make people happy. When he arrived home to get his hermit crab, he found the neighbor boy sitting on his front porch looking for the promised ice cream.
Narrator 4: Not wanting to be rude to the young man but not having the ice cream to give him, Bill decided to enlist the neighbor boy's help. He explained his problem to the boy and asked if the boy himself had anything worth trading to the store owner in exchange for the Chocolate Cyclone Whippee Ice Cream. The boy thought for a moment then reached into his pocket. He was grateful to Bill for trying to get him the ice cream and, not wanting to seem greedy or rude, he very much wanted to help pay for it.
Narrator 5: However, when he pulled his hand from his pocket it was empty. He had thought he had several marbles, a piece of string and his special sea-polished rock in there but all must have been lost in his pant's last trip through the washing machine. He sadly realized he had nothing to offer.
Narrator 5: Bill quickly realized his little friend's predicament and ran into the house, coming out shortly carrying Hermie in his cage. The two walked hand-in-hand to the store, Bill carrying Hermie in one hand and holding the boy's hand in his other. They had a lovely chat on the way there about all things squirmy and squishy and presently arrived back at the store.
Narrator 6: The store owner, surprised to see Bill returning to his store so soon after his departure, inquired to Bill about his day. Seizing the opportunity to discuss the matter of the Chocolate Cyclone Whippee and the Hermit Crab with the store owner, Bill quickly recounted all of the days' events to him, ending with his offer to exchange the crustacean for the dairy confection.
Narrator 7: The store owner was initially taken aback by such a generous offer on Bill's part but, once giving it some good thought, decided that Hermie would make a wonderful store mascot. And so, at the end of it all Hermie found a delightful new home, Bill's neighbor enjoyed his most favorite Chocolate Cyclone Whippee Ice Cream and Bill felt the satisfaction of having made all things right in his world.

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